World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview

picnik collageflag World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview
The U.S. of mother humping A continues its run thru the World Cup field this Saturday as they take on the tiny archipelago nation of Ghana this coming Saturday at 11:30am PST. Dr. Cranfill compares and contrasts the two countries trying to see who might have the advantage…

To try and predict a winner of this Saturday’s futbol match, I decided to do some serious research into Ghana and America to compare and contrast their inner strengths and weaknesses. This is what I found out about our fare countries.

Dance is of the utmost importance in Ghanan culture. Stories of heritage, hope, and history are told thru their majesty of dance. Check it out.

No disrespect Ghana, but if that’s the best you got then you are losing the dance battle against America. As this video clearly proves…
Vodpod videos no longer available.
1-0 America.

Now on to native cuisine. Below is a picture of the traditional Ghanan dish, Fufu with peanut soup and meat.
ghanafood World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview

Blecccch. I think I would rather starve. Actually, I’d rather have this.

kfcsandwich World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview
Look at this glorious son of a bitch. Bacon? Check. Cheese? Check. Fried chicken replacing the bun? Freakin’ check. 2-0 America.

When comparing vastly different cultures one of the first things we always notice is the contrast of traditional clothing. So. Let’s take a peek at what traditional Ghanan garb looks like.
pictur13 World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview

Allright. Very Coming to America-ish but ok. Let’s see what the good ol’ USA has to offer..

heidispenceraudigiertour World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview
Ugh……Well uh…..allright, USA 2, Ghana 1. I’ll give you that one Ghana. Begrudgingly.

What about exports? Exports are the lifeblood of any country so let’s see what you got Ghana….
According to Wikipedia, Ghana is the world’s 2nd biggest exporter of cocoa in additions to healthy export levels of gold, diamonds, manganese, and bauxite. Impressive.

Well, here in America we export McDonald’s, crappy movies and Coca-Cola. Which of course we couldn’t manufacture without Ghana’s cocoa exports so…..

That leaves us with a tie and since Saturday’s game is the knockout round, somebody has to win. So what to use for a tie breaker? Oh I dunno….how about this?

eisen1 World Cup: USA vs Ghana Preview
THAT, ladies and gentlemen of Ghana, is the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower. A 110-ton Nimitz-class supercarrier currently parked in the Gulf of Guinea. And just so you know, the USS Eisenhower is fully capable of visiting total destruction upon a certain nation that doesn’t  KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM AND DOESN’T JUST LAY DOWN THIS SATURDAY IN SOUTH AFRICA.

Catch what I am throwing down here Ghana? Good. Glad we understand each other. Good luck Saturday though!!  WE’LL BE WATCHING.


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