Behind the Tattoo: Kate Tellier of Laguna Hills

cranfill professor sheep Behind the Tattoo: Kate Tellier of Laguna Hills

Photo/Art: Jordy Altman

Kate Tellier of Laguna Hills didn’t QUITE make the field of 64 for Jack’s Tattoo Madness but that’s not going to stop Dr. Cranfill from highlighting her and her ink in this installment of BEHIND THE TATTOO….

First off, lettuce get a good look at Kates ink…(lettuce?)
0466 Behind the Tattoo: Kate Tellier of Laguna Hills

Yes. That is a cartoon lamb with freakishly large eyes chasing a personified cupcake who seemingly has already had a sizeable bite taken out of its delicious, delicious head. This explanation ought to be toot-sweet.

(Everything below this disclaimer is a lie….sorry, FICTION. Dr. Cranfill is making this all up because he suffers from Telephobia and cannot call Kate to get the real story of her ink. True story)

This staggeringly sad sheep saga began in the year of our lord, 2008. George W’s reign was coming to an end. Michael Phelps was dominating the pool in Beijing. And the Super Hadron Collider was getting fired up for the first time in Geneva. Meanwhile, Kate’s dream of becoming the next Shari Lewis was coming to an end.

As a child Kate became enamored with Shari’s Lamb Chop routine. She practiced day and night with her own lamb puppet named Colostomy. Yes, colostomy.

As a child Kate overheard her parents use the word in a discussion about her great Aunt Lela and she liked how it sounded so Colostomy it was. You would think her parents would put a stop to Colostomy but nobody wanted to have that awkward conversation so the name stuck.

Kate attended the prestigious Julliard School for the Arts in New York City and graduated with a Masters of Puppetry in 2001. Kate and Colostomy toured the country playing bars, theatres, county fairs and the like, hoping that one day a producer or talent scout would give Kate and Colostomy their shot at the big time.

7 years later Kate and Colostomy were no closer to fame and fortune than Kirk Cameron is now and sadly, Kate decided to lay Kate and Colostomy to rest to pursue a more financially lucrative future in sales.

A lifetime of companionship was coming to an end. Sad times indeed. To help Kate overcome her grief a friend suggested she get some lamb-inspired tattoos so that she could carry Colostomy with her wherever her sales calls would take her.

After numerous inking sessions, Colostomy and the adventures she shared with Kate found a home in the very flesh of Kate’s being.

Giving up on a dream is the second hardest thing you can do in life next to child-birth. But sometimes, as Kenny Rogers would say, “You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”

Kate understood Kenny’s words and for that, we salute her. Sorry you didn’t make the JACK Tattoo field of 64 but you received a gift far more valuable than any motorcycle. And that is the gift of a lifetime of  friendship from an ill-named puppet.


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