Here at Jack FM, we’d like to think we’re pretty clever.

Great music? Check. Witticisms between songs? Check.

Blogs so entertaining you can’t tear your eyes from them? Well… we’re working on that.

When some of our Sticker Pimps started brewing beer in the back office, we figured we’d get to work on some tongue-in-cheek label names. To give us some ideas, we searched the web.

And boy did we hit the Jackpot. Get it?! See ‘cus—

Alimony Ale

Self-dubbed “The Bitterest Brew in America“, this brilliant name was obviously thought up by a guy who didn’t have the greatest luck with marriage. At least he has a good beer to drink away his sorrows.

screen shot 2012 02 05 at 3 42 46 pm 6 Beer Names That Are So Great, Youd Think Jack FM Owned A Brewery

Pay up here.

Polygamy Porter

Tagline: “Why just have one?”

Thus the most ingenious tagline ever was created. We’ve definitely got a lot of big love for this beer.

screen shot 2012 02 05 at 1 44 26 pm 6 Beer Names That Are So Great, Youd Think Jack FM Owned A Brewery

Have more than one here.

Knocker Up

Throw back a few of these suckers and you probably won’t be able to knocker… well, you get it.

Or maybe you’ll be better suited to do the deed. We never did quite figure that one out.

screen shot 2012 02 06 at 10 24 53 pm 6 Beer Names That Are So Great, Youd Think Jack FM Owned A Brewery

Brought to you by Three B’s Brewery.

Sweetwater’s Happy Ending

Tagline: “It’ll put a smile on your face“.

The beer, right? They’re talking about the beer? Ordering this may be the only time in your life where you don’t get slapped for asking for a Happy Ending.

And if you’re not sure what we’re talking about, you’re probably too young to have beer anyway.

Tastes Like Burning (Ralph Wiggum’s Revenge)

We choo choo choose Ralph! Any beverage that has to do with the Simpson’s is A-OK in our book. Unfortunately this little guy is retired, but maybe if we ask really nicely they’ll bring it back.

Buttface Amber Ale

So here’s what you do: you know that really annoying girl you work with who won’t shut up about her “modeling” plans? Go grab some drinks with your coworkers and buy ones of these for her…then you can yell, “She has a Buttface!” all night and it’s totally ok.

You’re welcome.


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