The Manliest Last Words Ever Spoken

Being a manly man means many things.

Having a man cave, building things with your hands, drinking beer, and eating red meat all qualify as manly man-tivities. Red-blooded dudes of the past have demonstrated the ultimate exercise in machismo: dying with panache.

We’ve gathered our favorite last words of resolute manly men who have passed out of this life.

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“I should have never switched from scotch to martinis.” – Humphrey Bogart, the patron saint of manliness.

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Ben Stansall

“This is a hell of a way to die.” – General George S. Patton. He died in a car accident en route to a hunting excursion. Far from the glorious departing that the lifetime soldier imagined for himself. Still… going on a hunting excursion is pretty darn butch.

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Ben Stansall, Getty Images

“Gentlemen, I bid you farewell.” – Wallace Hartley, bandmaster of the RMS Titanic. His band continued to play as the ship sank in order to keep passengers calm. A Gentleman if there ever was one.

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Alberto E. Rodriguez, Getty Images

“I wish I’d drunk more champagne” – John Maynard Keynes, a British economist with a long and impressive resume only wanted more of the finer things in life. We think this is the sign of a truly refined gentleman.

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David McNew, Getty Images

“More weight!” – Giles Corey. First of all, “Giles” is the manliest name we’ve heard in a while. He was tried and sentenced to death during the Salem witch trials. Executed by being crushed under a pile of rocks, his last words reflected his stubbornness.

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Scott Nelson, Getty Images

“It’s stopped.” - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse.

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Antoine Antoniol, Getty Images

 ”My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.” - Oscar Wilde. Contrary to popular belief, taking an interest in interior decorating is extremely manly. Just look at Bob Vila.

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Jeff J Mitchell, Getty Images

“I’ve had eighteen whiskeys. I think that’s the record.” – Dylan Thomas. After contracting a chest infection, Thomas decided to spend all day in bed drinking whiskey. He then went to a local bar and continued to drink. He contracted pneumonia and died. Thomas’ wife’s first words after hearing of his illness were “Is the bloody man dead yet?”

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Andy Lyons, Getty Images

“Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you’re screwing around.”- Carl Panzram. Executed by hanging, this serial killer had a real bone to pick with Indianans. Yikes.

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Pascal Le Segretain, Getty Images

“I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.” - Richard Feynman. This brilliant physicist and quantum mechanic just wanted to die like all manly men desire to: quickly.


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