Everyone knows that the world is either controlled by cats, dolphins, or middle-of-the-earth dwelling reptilian aliens that are slowly replenishing their power before they crawl through our toilets, expand themselves into dragon size, and eat us all.

So, when Dutch artist Bart Jansen turned his apparently “beloved” but dead cat Orville–named after Orville of Wilbur and Orville Wright–into a helicopter, he totally pissed off the feline extraterrestrials that may be plotting our demise as we sleep.

The art of taxidermy is already creepy, but to up the weirdo factor Jansen decided to memorialize the cat–who was hit by a car–and make him into a fully-functioning helicopter “art piece” so that he could fly into the trees and hang out with the birds one last time.

“After a period of mourning, he received his propellers posthumously,” Jansen said in an interview. “He will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday.”

What? “More powerful engines?” “Larger props?” Cats don’t need engines. Cat’s don’t need propellers. Cats need a place under a shady tree and some lovingly placed flowers that will remind you for the rest of you life of your tiny little purrrbot.

Cats don’t need borderline crazies giving other borderline crazies ideas so they become like a modern-day Renfield  a la Dracula.

We are just encouraging their inevitable take-over by giving them ideas for feline flight. As if the toxic warheads they are creating in their litter boxes weren’t enough.

–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles


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