Everybody come and see how bronze and sexy we look in this speedo! No? Bronze is not sexy any longer? Damnit China, will the one-upping of Americans ever come to an end?

Usually this is done so by fashion, technology or mathematics, but now… dun dun dun, FACEKINIS!

A disguise once used by criminals, Mexican wrestlers, and superheroes, is now used for beauty and it’s quite effective at that.

According to msnbc, beachgoers in the city of Qingdao, Shandong Province, are utilizing face masks to refrain from getting a tan.

In this day and age, skin pigment fads have been a roller coaster ride of a trend. Many people have gone to great lengths to get a tan artificially, and now the tables have turned.

Facekini’s, which cover everything on the face except for the eyes, nose and mouth are now a demanding product in China. Especially the orange ones, which protect people from sea creatures, probably because they look more like sea creatures than the “sea creatures” themselves.

Look at that beautiful bikini body strutting down the beach, everything looks like a ten…butterface, because YOU CAN’T SEE IT. Oh well, she’ll remain a tease while preserving the fair quality of her skin. She wins.

Krista Blore, 93.1 Jack FM


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