Homeland Security Wants You To Prepare For Zombie Apocalypse, Seriously

Next time the country is on red alert, you might wanna get out your wooden stakes and fire guns. Apparently, Homeland Security is encouraging United States citizens to fully prepare for the “zombie apocalypse.”

How does one make sure they are fully guarded against the walking brain-sucking deadlings? The same way one prepares for an earthquake, a hurricane, or another more reasonable disaster–with an emergency kit, an evacuation plan, and a DVD collection of zombie thrasher flicks from whence to take notes.

OK, so Homeland Security don’t think zombies actually exist but they presume that if you are suitably prepared for head-chopping walking corpses and being food, water, and electricity free, you are also suitably prepared for any other tragic predicament.

According to the Huffington Post, an online seminar was put on by the Federal Emergency Management System that encouraged folks to stock up on water, food, meds, power, and other emergency necessities. Apparently, they thought the zombie apocalypse slant would get the nation’s attention.

Or, they are subtlety warning us that a zombie apocalypse is impending? We’ll never know until we get a postman moaning “BRAINS!!!” while knocking on our door.

–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles


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