Cover Thyself Up For “Modesty Week” Young Ladies, South Pasadena Highly Suggests It

Times like these, we want to use emoticons instead of words. The emoticon that best represents this story is :/.

We didn’t know it and we certainly didn’t adhere to it or condone it, but last week in South Pasadena was “Modesty Week.” A 15-year-old girl named Saige Hatch, who is already breaking hearts everywhere with her admirable-but-disappointing-for-us life choices, started a modesty club at South Pasadena High School. Granted, she’s not hurting anyone or pregnant or doing drugs, so it’s kind of OK. We guess.

Hatch, a regular anti-feminist (or maybe it’s a new wave of feminism?) in the making, wrote on the club website that she “noticed from elementary school to middle school, and now in high school a lot of girls were dressing immodestly. I wanted to bring awareness and remembrance to the value of modesty.” The Mayor of South Pasadena, Michael Cacciotti, was down with Hatch’s mission and officially declared last week Modesty Week. The rules also apply to dudes, although we’re having a hard time imagining that. Don’t lowride your pants we guess?

Here are the club rules, written in adorable poem form:

“If it’s too tight it’s not quite right.
It’s best to flirt in a knee length skirt.
Shoulders and busts are graciously covered.
Revealing lines are warning signs.
Clean and neat catches eyes on the street.
When I pass this test I’ll be dressed for success!”

We feel a semi-fictional movie starring the modern equivalent of Reese Witherspoon hatching from this. Million dollar idea. You’re welcome. We guess.

–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles


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