Have A Death Wish? Drink This Coffee.

‘Eff that pansy swill that comes from expensive “coffee boutiques” full of hipsters, dogs, and multicolored recycling bins. When we drink coffee, we want stuff so strong it could strip the hide off a giraffe.

When we drink coffee, we went to be floating on the edge of life and death, which is why Death Wish, the “world’s strongest coffee,” is our kind of cuppa joe.

Labeled the “world’s strongest coffee,” Death Wish has a picture of a skill and crossbones on it. It also purportedly has 200 perfect more caffeine in it than a regular cup of coffee. A regular cup ranges between 80-175 depending on how it’s brewed.

We can’t do math but 200 percent more than that is A LOT.

“This is not your regular morning coffee. This is not your store bought coffee. You will not find this coffee at your local diner or at your sissy Starbucks,” says the disclaimer on the package. “Death Wish Coffee is the most highly caffeinated premium dark roast organic coffee in the world. This is Extreme Coffee, not for the weak. Consider yourself warned.”

So it sounds like this coffee is not recommended for babies, children, dogs, Beavis & Butthead, or anybody that is not JACK FM—the most interesting radio station in the world.

–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles


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