Cellphones. Sometimes we love ‘em, and sometimes we want to smash them against the wall. Especially when you’re at the movies, or in this case, the theater, and the person next to you refuses to put their phone away, rudely texting, surfing the web, or worse yet, talking during the performance.

It’s right about that time that our eyes turn green, we rip off our shirts, and we do our best Lou Ferrigno impersonation.

Unfortunately JACK FM can’t be there every time someone needs to get knocked upside the head for inconsiderately using their cellphone. Luckily, Kevin Williamson, a writer for the National Review, has got us covered.

Williamson was attending the musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812. And while he claims the show was quite good, the audience couldn’t have been worse. The biggest offenders were two groups of women sitting next to him, which Williamson describes as “the sad sort with too much makeup and too-high heels, and insufficient attention span for following a two-hour musical.”

Williamson took the civilized route first, his date speaking with theater management in hopes that the women would be reminded about being courteous to the people around them.

They were not reminded.

Williamson then took a direct approach, asking the woman to his right (the worst offender of the bunch) if she could turn off her phone, to which she replied, “so don’t look,” and “mind your own business.” And not in those exact words, from what we understand.

Williamson responded by grabbing her phone and hurling it across the room. YES. To that we say:

Needless to say, Williamson was asked to leave. No word on any criminal charges, though some may be brought up.

Says, Williamson: “In a civilized world, I would have received a commendation of some sort. To the theater-going public of New York — nay, the world – I say: ‘You’re welcome.’

Thank you indeed.

– Carlos Delgado, CBS Radio


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