Staring At Large Boobs Will Improve Your Health, JACK Will Live To 100

Bless those scientists doing their absolute best to further mankind, pushing our species forward with revolutionary insights that not only improve the quality of life, but also the duration. We’re talking, of course, about the recent study that proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that staring at a woman’s bust is indeed good for a man’s health.

The study, which was conducted in Germany by Dr. Karen Weatherby, an expert in aging, and published in the New England Journal of Medicine, spent five painstaking years making detailed observations before coming to this stunning conclusion, according to the Daily Record. Here’s what the study found:

FACT: staring at women’s breasts daily for 10 minutes is better for your health than going to the gym for 30 minutes.

FACT: men who stare at bosoms daily have lower blood pressure and slower resting pulse rates. They also have a decreased risk of heart disease.

FACT: Large breasts, such as D cup, offer a huge benefit to men over 40, according to the good Dr.

FACT: This is not an excuse to be super creepy and stare at strangers breasts in the name of science and health. Dammit.

– Carlos Delgado, CBS Radio


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