Dr. Cranfill’s NFL Week 9 Picks-n-Giggles

Author: Dr. Cranfill

Week 8 Pick Results- 2-2

2-2’s not bad. Could’ve been 3-1 very easily had Jets QB Geno Smith not thrown two pick 6 interceptions vs the Bengals. Jerkface jerkington. Anyway, much like the Jonas Brothers, that’s in the past so….moving on…to Week 9…

Kansas City Chiefs (-3) vs Buffalo Bills– 10:00am PST on CBS
The Kansas City Chiefs roll into Buffalo as the favorites this week and rightfully so. The Bills are 3-5 while the Chiefs are the NFL’s last unbeaten team. The Chiefs made it to 8-0 with a good D and a quarterback in Alex Smith who rarely turns the ball over. Now, remember back when the Native Americans lived in harmony with the American Buffalo on the great plains before those meddlesome crackers showed up? Damn near hunted the buffalo to extinction. Now it’s payback time. Can Alex Smith withstand the charge of an angry buffalo herd? Bent on avenging their ancestors? I’ma have to say the nay-no my brother. Sine your pittie on the runny kine and Take the Bills in an upset special here.

Atlanta Falcons vs Carolina Panthers (-7½)- 10:00am on FOX
Don’t look now but the Panthers are squarely in the playoff hunt at 4-3. Falcons on the other hand are terrible, they’re children are ugly and God hates them. As much as I’d like to think the Panthers are gonna win by 40 here, this is a division rivalry with a lot of history. I see the Panthers coming out with a W here but I think it’ll be by less than 7. Take the Falcons to cover, even though that good for nothing city has been dead to me since they shutdown Freaknik for good in 1996.

San Diego Chargers (-1/PK) vs Washington Redskins– 10:00am on CBS
Hardly anyone is talking about the match-up itself this week, instead they’re focusing on the “is the Redskins team name racist?” debate. “Redskins” IS racist and it prolly should be changed but the H.A.I.N., team owner Dan Snyder has pretty much said the team name is staying. Dude, for once in your over-privileged life, do the right thing. Be the Washington Warriors. Or the Tribe. You’d get to keep everything, even your logo. But he won’t because Dan Snyder is everything that is wrong with America. Although I’d love to see that ass-clown get tazed repeatedly like this guy, I will settle for the Chargers shocking his team right in his own backyard. Take San Diego here.

Philadelphia Eagles vs Oakland Raiders (-2½)- 1:05pm on FOX
Wait. The Raiders are actually FAVORED in a game? OOoooooo goody. Just what delusional Raiders fans need…..Hope. It happens every time. Anytime the Raiders get any momentum going, their fan base loses their collective minds and start screaming about the Super Bowl. Pride is a dangerous thing. Just ask that hooker from Seven. Take the Eagles to win here and teach the Raiders fanbase a lesson in hubris.

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