By Carlos Delgado

WARNING: Selfies are spreading lice among teenagers. Granted, the source is Marcy McQuillan, an “expert” from Niteless Noggins, a lice treatment center in Scotts Valley, near San Fransisco, but it kind of makes sense when you think about it.

When taking a group selfie, everyone plasters their heads together into one giant vanity sandwich. And we all know how dirty teenagers are. Dare we say their bedrooms are dirtier than a JACK FM studio?

So heads smashed together + lice infested teens = LICE WATCH 2014.

“I’ve seen a huge increase of lice in teens this year,” McQuillan told SFist. “Typically it’s younger children I treat, because they’re at higher risk for head-to-head contact. But now, teens are sticking their heads together every day to take cell phone pics.”

In fact, McQuillan claims she is treating more high school and college age teens than she is grade schoolers.

And thanks to her outstanding investigative skills, McQuillan thinks she’s found the culprit.

“Every teen I’ve treated, I ask about selfies, and they admit that they are taking them every day,” McQuillan discovered. She then issued this harrowing warning to parents: Selfies are fun, but the consequences are real.

And now for your listening and viewing enjoyment, The Chainsmokers!


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