By Nadia Noir

Someone has been watching way too many episodes of The Walking Dead.

According to the OC Weekly, a man named Julian St. John of Orange was arrested for attacking and wounding a man in Dana Point on Sunday morning.

While none of this is newsworthy (maybe pathetic and sad, really), here’s what is really sticking out to the media: St. John’s excessive use of an eclectic array of weapons.

According to a statement from Lt. Hallock, the sheriff’s spokesman, St. John not only shot the 56-year-old victim with a gun, but also attacked him with crossbow and a fire extinguisher.

We’ve literally only seen Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead wield anything close to that special array of weapons. It’s gotta be the brain. Don’t y’all know nothin’.

To make it extra creepy and cinematic, St. John also drove through the fence of the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station.

Don’t worry, public at large. This crazed man isn’t getting anywhere on his $2 million dollar bail and plethora of felony charges. Not before the zombies get him first, anyway.


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