By Jordy Altman

Robin Hood, Batman, and Scooby Doo walk into a bar…

Sure, it may sound like a set-up for a terrible joke, but it’s actually a file from the English police squad with quite the punchline.

In the quiet Canadian town of Rarrorough—rather, Scarorough — 29-year-old Les Brown was excited to go out for a birthday bar crawl with his close friends. When they decided to dress in silly costumes, Brown found himself disappointed as his original costume idea from a fancy dress store fell though. He settled on a raggedy Scooby Doo costume, much to his dismay.

The night began like any other, with merriment, laughs, and cheers – but when crowds and alcohol mix, fights tend to break out. Which exactly what happened, as an outraged and rather tipsy female patron singled out Brown and attacked him in front of his brew crew. Lucky for Brown, it was Scooby Doo’s rich padding that saved him from a severe beating.

“She was punching me in the head and my Scooby Doo outfit protected me from getting hurt more,” Brown said. “I’m glad I wore the Scooby Doo onesie. It had a biggish head, which probably cushioned the punches.”

Sharron Hutchinson, 40, admitted an assault charge and was fined for the attack. No word on whether or not she was tied up and unmasked in front of the jury. Now that Brown’s assailant has seen justice, he and his friends are free to dress up in silly costumes and roam the countryside for more microbrews and baddies.

After the case, an A&E consultant was contacted for comment about his costume’s apparent crime-fighting abilities. He said that fancy dress outfits can make for “extremely absorbent protection… My advice, however,” he added, “would be to avoid getting into fights.”

Rise rords.


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