By Jordy Altman
Two Pterodactyls walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The first Pterodactyl says, “RRRRaaaaayyyirrrrrrrr raaaaiii raiii rirrarrriiiyyyyyyyyyyrrrrr.” The second Pterodactyl says, “Shut up, Richard. You’re drunk.”
If you thought Legoland was safe, think again. Last week, children and families experienced a slight detour into Jurassic Park when Richard Campagna, or “Pterodactyl” as he claimed to be after pounding multiple cocktails at Legoland Florida, decided to wreak havoc on the water park.
Before Campagna devolved into his dinosaur alias, staff say he entered the park alone at noon, and went straight to the bar where he proceeded to suck down a few too many cocktails. When security and staff politely asked the drunk man to exit the park, Campagna refused to leave – and drunkenly transformed into the wild beast where he threw down and ran amok.
Campagna, now the Pterodactyl, led police on a wet, wild, and presumably wacky chase past water slides and wading pools for nearly 30 minutes. After getting cornered near the Lazy River, the drunk dino tried to create a diversion by splashing water on a deputy. After “attacking” an officer, security was able to take responsive action – this time in the form of a taser. This is fantastic, because now we finally have an answer to the question we asked in the third grade: Can a taser take out a 300 pound dinosaur? The answer, is “No.”
While Police attempted to stun the half-man-half-dinosaur with a taser, only one of the probes stuck to his slick body. Filled with rage (and booze), Campagna pulled the probe straight off of his elbow and continued to chase. Finally, after reinforcements were called in, the Legoland security was able to tackle the Pterodactyl to the ground and put him in handcuffs.
Campagna now faces charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, splashing water on a deputy, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Apparently, there is no charge for impersonating an extinct dinosaur.