SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WILDFIRES: Donate

By Carlos Delgado

A girl named Zoë just penned a manifesto on how boys–specifically one boy named Noah–should talk to girls. It’s so simple and to-the-point that even a fifth grader can understand it. It also helps that Zoë herself is a fifth grader, so there’s that.

But don’t let her age fool you: these are lessons that even adults can take to heart. Titled “Rules + Regulations,” Zoë lays down the law down on Noah, making it crystal clear that his advances, tomfoolery, and other behavior that violates her personal space will not be tolerated.

The letter was sent to Twitter user @WhosDenverJones, who then tweeted the picture, where it soon went viral.

And though Zoë may seem a little harsh, in reality she’s just being brutally honest with how she feels, which can be summed up as “I don’t like you, so stop bugging me!”

Here are Zoë’s rules, in case the letter is a little hard to read:

1. Do not touch my shoulder.

2. Do not get behind me with all that playing + foolishness. (Don’t get behind me at all.)

3. Do not speak to me unless it’s a greeting, which will be never.

4. Stop playing with me on the bus.

5. I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play 2 much.

6. Reread 500 times.

7. You like me (as a gf) but I don’t like you (as a bf). I’m 2 young!

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